Thursday, August 26, 2010

Nothing new really

It's just been the same stuff, different day pretty much. I try to stay busy most of the time, and for the most part, that works out okay. Work has slowed down a lot, it's sad. Which means less hours for me. :( And in turn, less money, not that the money is all that great out there anyway. But I guess at least I have a job, and a pretty stable one...not really worried of being let go anytime soon at all. I am trying to find a second job though. Me and Celise are STILL trying to move out, and honestly I'm just waiting on her, since I have money saved up for it all. I can afford the place we're looking at working at Fud's, but it would be cutting it close. We're looking to move out to Niceville, just because that's where we both go to school and I've just always liked Niceville a lot (don't ask why). So, I'm trying to find a second job out in Niceville where I could earn some extra cash. Celise wants me to start selling my diapers for some extra money, which would be good, but it's not going to bring in a lot of money, right at first anyway. So that's pretty much what I've been up to lately.

Blake birthday was a long, hard day. I was sad for a lot of the day and just lonely. I ended up going to the park I would take him to and singing him happy birthday. I even lit a candle for him.


I just miss him a lot, and still always think of him. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason, but I still can't even begin to imagine what purpose him leaving so soon could have had. Sometimes I half way wish I just miscarried in the beginning. I mean I don't, and I'm so glad I got to meet him, even if it was just for a little while, but if I had of miscarried, I feel like I wouldn't have been as attached, less to miss I guess. I would have still been really sad, but I don't know. I've never miscarried, so I'm not really sure how I would feel. Either way I know I would be really sad.

Oh, I also got a tattoo in his memory. It hurt, but not how I thought it would. I'm really happy with how it turned out. :)


In other news, dance classes have finally started and I'm so glad to be back into it. I've missed it a lot! And it's nice that I haven't COMPLETELY lost my touch. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm out of shape and out of practice still, but haven't lost it all. :) Muscle memory is a wonderful thing. And the story of boy meets girl has happened again, on technically Blake's birthday. It's nothing official or anything, but he sure knows how to make me smile. :) But I'm not in any rush to get back into a relationship, so I've decided to just play it by ear, and whatever happens, happens.

So yeah, that's pretty much all that has been happening lately. Just hoping to move out super soon. Not that life at home is bad or anything, I'm just excited to be independent once again (besides the whole bills thing...ha). Hopefully that will happen sooner rather than later!

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