Friday, September 30, 2011
So I know that it's been a while, but I just thought that this deserves some blog-worthy attention. As many of you know, I take dance class. Well tuesday we started learning this new dance. It's absolutely beautiful and deep and meaningful...and about a mother losing her baby. The song is Held by Natalie Grant. As soon as I started to listen to the lyrics I had to actively work to fight back tears. I thought today (Thursday) (technically yesterday) would be easier, since I had some time to prepare myself. And it was, that is until my instructor started talking about the meaning of the song to him and how sometimes things happen to your child that are out of your control and you just have to let them go and fight it on their own. I was luckily able to fight back everything until after class when I got into my car. Then I kind of lost it a little. He kept telling us to tell our own story. He knows my story, vaguely. I'm not sure if he was meaning me or not, but I don't want to tell my own story; it doesn't have a happy ending. I so want to do this piece passionately, since it hits so close to home, but I'm not sure if I'll find the strength to do so without breaking down. Nothing in this world makes me break down like thinking about the moments where he slipped through my fingers, and it's not that fun trying to fight back tears everytime I go to class. I wish I was stronger; you would think that I would be past this by now, wouldn't I? It's been over a year, and for the most part I'm okay, but this song just brings up so much raw emotion, I'm not sure how to cope. I'm just hoping it gets easier in time, like most everything else does.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
So, a few weeks ago I took the entrance exam for the nursing program here (LPN, probably go on to get my RN in Georgia, but maybe not, unsure), and not even a week before the test day, I discovered I had been studying the wrong book. I was so upset! The book I was studying was for the RN program at another school, and I was borrowing it from my roommate. She thought they were the same tests, which I think would make sense. Nope, not one bit. I continued to study the book I had, hoping that it would have pretty much the same info. The test day comes up and oh my gosh, was that test hard. The science portion of the test was hardly anything like the one I had been studying. I memorized all of these formulas and values and such, and I didn't use any of them. There were however a lot of cell diagrams and questions about different reactions with chemicals that I had seen since the ninth and tenth grades. Ugh. My overall score after all the sections was a 143. I'm not sure how this ranks as far as doing well or not. The thing said that 100 was average, but people usually made between a 50 and a 150, and the highest possible was a 200. So I wasn't really sure how I ranked against everyone else, but considering that most people probably had the right book and I'm assuming everyone else studied for at least a couple months like I did (especially since it costs $40 to test), I really thought that I was out for this round. I was a little upset, but I was trying to not let it get to me. The last day for testing was September 14th (I tested September 2nd), and they told me that they would be setting up interviews after that. Now Emma, one of my friends who went through and graduated from this program, told me that they only interview people who did well enough on the test, and that they look at the highest scores first for interviews. So you can imagine how extremely surprised I was when I got a phone call on September 16th to schedule an interview. :) I'm sooo excited. I just hope that Emma's right about only interviewing those who did well enough on the test to get in. I'm not sure why they would change their application technique though, since I saw the stack of applications when I signed up for the test. It was HUGE. I so hope that I make the cut. It would be perfect since it would give me something to focus on while Adam's deployed. Which he doesn't deploy for a while still, but he'll be gone for about half of the program. So basically I just need everyone to cross their fingers for me that I have an awesome interview and that I make it in. :D