Tuesday, February 19, 2013

9 weeks

Well, time to play catch up, as usual! I'm not sure why it is so hard for me to keep up with this blog, but it is. I guess life just gets to me. And now I think the fact that I'm constantly nursing this little girl, which makes it not so easy to type, plays a factor. Anyway, where to start?

Well, by two weeks old, Sophia wasn't back up to her birth weight. My midwife wasn't super worried about it, and thought it was probably because of the nipple shield. She made the decision that we should quit using it and just give her the real thing. Thankfully she COULD latch and would occasionally, it was just getting her to do it 100% of the time. Sophia put up a good fight for her when we were trying to get her to latch without it, but finally gave in. I was trying to block the worries out of my head, since that was one of the first signs of Blake's troubles, but I kept telling myself that this happens to lots of babies (including myself) and that she wasn't jaundiced. Otherwise, I was just hoping that would do the trick. It was a long day and night, but after that we really didn't have problems getting her to take the breast, NO SHIELD. It's sooo nice to not have the shield! In four days we weighed her again, and she had gained 4 whole ounces. We were all very happy with that, and I was incredibly relieved.

Unfortunately, that's not where our struggles with breast feeding ends. Mind you, I WILL NOT give up until my nipples fall off! I want to give her the best too bad for that to happen. I am so sore, even to this day. At I think five weeks I was beginning to wonder just how long this soreness would last. With the shield I did get sore at first, but it went away eventually. I figured I would get sore again since I no longer had the silicone barrier providing protection, but this was insane. It took all I had to not tear up everytime she latched on, and I would always have to concentrate on not gripping onto her at the moment. It was just so painful! There's so much trauma there, showers were excruciating even. I went to the birth center to have her suck evaluated and such to see what the problem was, since apparently you shouldn't still be sore that long after. I was thinking tongue tie; in fact, I looked up a video on checking for posterior tongue ties (since I was confident that she didn't have an anterior one) and I was pretty sure that I had seen one on her. Well, as sure as I could be not know precisely what they looked like. Plus, she would "click" often when she nursed, which I read is usually a sign that a baby is tongue tied. So, their lactation consultant there evaluated her, as well as the midwife, and they both confirmed that she did NOT have any tongue tie (though they didn't check the same way I had seen to check online), but did have a tiny lip tie. They said that it probably wasn't affecting her sucking, but they could clip it just to be sure. However, all of their equipment was in the sterilizer and I didn't have time to wait for it to finish up, so I had the choice to come back to have it done if I wanted. I don't think I'm going to have it clipped though, because I don't feel like that part was affecting her. She did say that she wasn't sucking correctly, and that she was more so lapping with her tongue at my nipple instead of cupping it. So she taught me how to do suck training on her and they just chalked it up to nipple confusion. So, that was that.

The more I tried to do her suck training, the more frustrated she got with it. She began to know what I was trying to do and just push my finger out of her mouth or just chew on it instead of suck (which I think is also because she's beginning to teethe). Plus, it wasn't getting better. I think I was starting to kind of get used to all the pain and soreness (I have a high pain tolerance anyway), so I wasn't nearly in tears anymore, but I still had my moments where I was super duper sore when she latched. Not sure why I'm referring to that in a past tense actually, because it's STILL like that. I was starting to wonder if one day it would just magically get better and eventually not hurt anymore. Or if I was going to be in pain the entire two years that I planned to breast feed her.

So anyway, on the first Thursday of this month I went to a breast feeding support meeting held by a lactation consultant that had really helped me out with Blake. I really wanted to get a second opinion about what her issues could be, and I really trust her opinion. Not that I don't trust the people at the birthing center, but posterior tongue ties aren't all that common, not extremely easy to diagnose, and, well, what that told me to try just wasn't working. So, she looked for me, and low and behold, she saw the same thing that I had seen at first: posterior tongue tie. At least now I know I'm not crazy and why what we've been doing hasn't worked.

We made an appointment with her pediatrician (her first one!), and we told him about how the lactation consultant had seen the tie. So in turn he set us up for an appointment with a specialist who could clip the tie for us (not too many in the area do posterior ties!). Today we went, and she, too, saw the tie and clipped about a millimeter of it. I'm pretty sure it's helping! At the very first I noticed the biggest difference. I feel like she's taking in more tissue, barely clicking, and her chin seemed more into the breast. All good news! I of course still have a lot of trauma that needs to heal, so I'm not 100% on the relief of pain factor, but I'll give an update on it. Hopefully it worked completely though! We have a follow up appointment in a few weeks, so if it didn't work then I guess we could let her know then. Funny story, Nate actually knew the doctor and her assistants! I guess they were regulars at the Thai restaurant he used to work at. He was the only server that worked there, so they all remembered him. So we got really good service! Not that I think we wouldn't have otherwise, they all seemed like nice people in general. But small world!

In other news, my husband loves me and bought me a bra that should hopefully fit! I've been having the hardest time finding a nursing bra to fit. Well, bras in general don't usually fit me too well since I'm an odd size. I took measurements, and it looks like I'm a 32F. Not so easy to find in stores, or even all that easy to find online! But I did find one by a brand called Bravado, which I've heard good things about. This one is a 32 F/G, so I think it will be good. I feel like I'm probably between those two cup sizes. It hasn't arrived yet, but hopefully will soon! I'm more than ready to have one that FITS! And hopefully this one does. :)

Let's see, what else. Well, Sophia is out of her newborn gDiapers. Sad day! The system I've been using mostly these days are prefolds and covers at home during the day, fitted diapers and covers at night, and then gDiapers stuffed with a preemie prefold while out and about. This system seems to be working pretty well for us! I have found that lately I'm not a huge fan of the one size covers. There's just so much extra material! I'm sure I'll like them a lot once she's bigger, but for now, not the biggest fan. Just more bulky, so functionally, they work fine. I've really been loving my Thirsties duo wrap in size 1. :) Wish I had more than just one though! I think I plan to get more of them, but I'm not entirely sure. If I had a plethora of funds, I for sure would! I also need to get an amber necklace for her sometime in the nearish future. Not needing it just yet, since she doesn't seem like she's in pain from the teething, but maybe when she's around 4 months or so I'll start putting it on her. I'm thinking I want one in black, just because it's such a classic and neutral color and goes with mostly everything. :)

I've also found that I have a small obsession with baby wraps. I got a new Moby in the design I've been lusting after. It's so cute! I'm giving my other one to my youngest sister, who's having a baby girl in May. I also have a Babyhawk mei tai carrier I've been dying to use. She's just in that awkward phase where she doesn't like to have her legs in the froggy position, but the base of the carrier is still too wide for her legs to stick out comfortably. Boo! I also have my friend making me a cotton/linen blend wrap in a size 3. I'm excited to try that one out! There are also about a million of wraps I want to try to make. Well, things I want to make in general! Haha.

I've been trying to make Miss Sophia a play may quilt, mainly because I've never made a quilt before and I wanted to try, and finding the time is down right hard! The swing is really nice for this, since she actually enjoys it a lot these days, and many times she will nap really well in it. I like to wear her too, but sewing while wearing a baby isn't the easiest thing in the world! Plus, depending on the machine I want to use, the noise could wake her up.

Well, this is getting to be pretty long! While I'm positive that I could find more to talk about, I'll just end this post now with some spamming of Sophia photos!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love my happy girl!

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